Amish Find Lumber in Mildmay

AP -  "Where oh where can the Amish be?", was the murmur spreading around Cargill.  Oh, they knew where the Amish physically were, in the nudey bar, but where had their hearts gone? They had dropped two straight one-run games and now sat at 3 and 7. It was humiliating, debilitating, aggravating and unfunnatating. The Amish needed to turn things around fast, but it didn’t look good when a double-header was scheduled against the Crystal Crusaders, who many call one of the best teams to play…..out of Mildmay.

The first game started at 7, and the Amish had 11 guys, which was a pleasant surprise. After a brief stint in rehab, Large returned to the clean-up spot and powered a home-run to set the tone for the game. The bats appeared to have woken up as the Amish went on to mercy the Crusaders 13-3 in the first game.

However, the Amish’s biggest threat lie ahead… fund in-between games. It has never been a good idea for this ball club to dip into da booze before a game, yet here they were, sauntering back to the parking lot to partake. Would this be the end of the winning streak? Would the Black Label turn into a Black Widow, poisoning our baseball ability? Would Devin fall into the cooler?

All good questions that will have to be answered another time….

Or will they?

The Amish were looking a little sluggish when who should appear?

Dennis, Gordy, Kevin Schmidt and more beer.

The Amish charged back to the diamond after the break with more energy than the early Spice Girls. These boys were ready to play ball.

The game got underway with the Amish bats picking up where they had left off. A-Smacking and A-Cracking.

And even when the Crusaders got on base (we don’t remember how they got on base…no errors that’s for sure), the Amish outfield would throw them out. First Dayman, with a nice relay to Scotty at second (not a typo), then onto home. Then, there was a liner that Hose tipped perfectly out to Joey Lang, who came up gunning, nailing the runner at home by 5 strides. The Amish fans, who numbered in the teens, were on their feet. They recognized something special was going down.

Then Amish played strong and won the second game as well, bringing their record to 5 and 7, and more importantly, raising the spirits in the clubhouse.

Joey had kindly offered to have the team back to his place for Beer Fun. It had been decided that it is now beer fun, instead of beer fund, because we like beer, we like fun, but we don’t like fund. However, we still need to pay for the beer so we are starting the Beer Fun Fund, which will occur simultaneously with the Beer fun. Enjoy.

The GM even attended the Beer Fun. However, after she left, there were rumours she had let slip that there may be a trade in the works. It appears that she is working on a deal to send Crazy to the Red Dogs of the Stratford league. The Amish would receive a right fielder named Luke and a promising young catcher named Trevor Russwurm. The deal hinges on Russwurm passing a physical and Crazy passing a breathalyser.  (Russwurm's physical will be performed by the Amish doctor, aka Wally).