Amish Can't Hit Shit

AP -  What's wrong with the Fighting Amish?  Could be rising beer prices.  Could be lack of regular sex.  But one need only look at the stats to know where to point the finger.

  After ten games the Amish sport a 3-7 record.  In eight of those ten games, the Amish have held their opponents to ten runs or less.  Back in the glory days of the 1999 season, the Amish did not lose a game when holding their opponents under 10 runs.  This year, they are 3-5 in such games.

  The Amish have scored only 78 runs this year, 16 of those coming in the first game of the season.  That means that over the past nine games, they have managed only 62 scores.  Less than 7 per game.  On the other side of the ball, the defense has been stellar.  The opposition has scored 83 runs for an average of 8.3 per game. 

  So what does all this math bullshit mean to the ball fan?  It means that the Amish are close.  They have half of the equation figured out and are close to making a run in the final stretch.  They need to figure out how to wake their slumbering lumber.  With nine games left there is still plenty of time. 

  In Monday night's action, the Amish blew a 6-4 lead in the sixth inning and lost 7-6.  The game saw the return of a couple retired players.  Jamie Larsen, centrefielder during the storied 99 season returned to play leftfield for the team.  Larky looked solid and right at home in the Amish outfield, but even more refreshing was the chatter that he brings to the bench.  John Leblanc also came out of retirement and played well at second base for the Amish.  Johnny retired at the end of last year after nursing a nagging wife injury.

  The Amish next game is Friday night in Mildmay against the Crystal Crusaders.  Although they have not played the Crusaders this year, they are a team that usually play a tight game.  Will the bats come around?  Only Lacey and God know.